Mothers

There’s a saying that I think is largely true for many of us—that you’re only ever as happy as your least happy child. I believe there’s another corollary—that children are only ever as happy as their mother or, as the case may be, the one who plays the maternal role in their lives. They can…

Hijacked

When you let your beliefs hijack your neutrality in what data you select and how you interpret them, you’ve fallen victim to confirmation bias. To correct for it, err on the side of disconfirmation. Seek evidence that challenges your beliefs—and raise the burden of proof for evidence that affirms them. ~Adam Grant Many of the…

Still Never Fails

Love never fails. That eternal, profound realization hit me long ago when my kids were small and I was still struggling just to keep my patience. How incredibly all-consuming and eternal. It extends universes beyond human politics, philosophies and bottom lines. It has no geographical limits or borders. It has continued to hold me accountable…

More To Me

There are endless hiking trails nearby, many much closer than this one. But I return to Big Mountain more often than not. It’s where I work out the stresses of recent weeks and the sorrows of recent years. “I climb so I can feel tired and sore in places other than my heart.” At first…

Near and Far

If you don’t love the people near to you, you don’t love the people far from you.

Fundamental

Many of us build our lives, our identities, our platforms, on the bitter declaration, “Look what has been done to me!” That, I believe, divides us more than any of our social, political, economic or religious differences. On the other side are those who ask, “What good can I do for others?” The distinction is…

Recipes

Don’t criticize a recipe you’ve never actually followed.

Outcomes

Your actions and outcomes are affected not only by what you put in your mind but also by what you fail to put there.

Anniversary

My husband and I are staring down our 30th anniversary. Things we’ve learned… Listen more than you speak. Give more than you take. Smile more than you frown. Manage thoughts and expectations (mostly your own). Recognize the value in each other and speak of it often to others. Acknowledge the probability that others are giving…

Tiny

I was fascinated with the idea of tiny worlds when I was a kid. Then I realized I live in one.

Strings

The things we read, watch, and listen to enslave us, permanently etched in our memories, continuing to affect who we are and who we become from behind the curtain for years to come, like invisible hands holding puppet strings.

Freedom

A teaching colleague is in the hospital with Covid pneumonia. He’s high risk. He has a lot of life yet to live. What’s so insidious about this particular bug? How quickly it spreads and the fact that someone with no symptoms can quickly spread it to 20,000 unsuspecting people. I’m all for preserving and exercising…

Boats

Locus of control is the extent to which we take responsibility for the circumstances of our own lives. Change is certain, but we are free to determine how we respond to it. We tend to look for excuses and sources of blame outside ourselves—family, friends, teachers, religious leaders, employers, employees, customers, pandemics, movements, the economy,…

Amends

Forgive someone. Make amends. Recognize that you share many of the same challenges from different spaces. Acknowledge the value of their experience and perspective, even if they lack the capacity to value yours.