Kind of the Same

Some flavors—like apple and banana and cilantro—pervade and overpower anything and everything they’re mixed with. Other flavors are more subtle but just as delicious. It’s kind of the same with people.

Must Begin

Love must begin with respect. Two people cannot move forward merely tolerating each other’s differences and looking down on each other as ignorant idiots who can’t see past the noses on your faces. No relationship can survive that. Neither can a country. There must be mutual respect for the genuine value that others bring to…

Can’t Know

We can’t know young people or assess their potential by looking at their grades or by sizing up their music or clothing or what they do on Friday nights. We can’t predict their futures by looking at their pasts. We can’t tell their motives by looking at their friends. We can’t pick out who will…

Bigger Picture

It isn’t unusual for “well-behaved” toddlers to grow up arrogant, narcissistic, and convinced that the world revolves around them. They’re hard to teach. As adults, they fail to see their negative, self-centered tendencies because they were never acknowledged and dealt with. Their deeper issues are overlooked or conveniently ignored, and they’re told how “good” they…

From the Outside

One game a parent will never win is painting the other parent out in a negative light—to anyone. There’s nothing, nothing, nothing more detrimental to children than lack of mutual respect and a driving battle for control between parents, regardless of whether they’re together. False humility and the inability to value each other’s contributions hurts…

Mothers

There’s a saying that I think is largely true for many of us—that you’re only ever as happy as your least happy child. I believe there’s another corollary—that children are only ever as happy as their mother or, as the case may be, the one who plays the maternal role in their lives. They can…