It’s Enough

Mother’s Day posts are often a litany of the expectations mothers try and fail to live up to every day. Most mothers I know don’t set out to be heroes—I know mine didn’t (but she was one anyway). Most of us simply set out to survive. Two of my babies are mothers now. They’re deep…

Conversation

Think people hear what you’re saying? I played a TED talk for my business communication students this past week and asked each person to identify the main point of the speech. They identified at least 20 somewhat related but fundamentally different assertions. Speaking is an art. So is listening. What’s heard is as important as…

Watch

Love someone and watch them grow beautiful.

From the Outside

One game a parent will never win is painting the other parent out in a negative light—to anyone. There’s nothing, nothing, nothing more detrimental to children than lack of mutual respect and a driving battle for control between parents, regardless of whether they’re together. False humility and the inability to value each other’s contributions hurts…

Near and Far

If you don’t love the people near to you, you don’t love the people far from you.

Anniversary

My husband and I are staring down our 30th anniversary. Things we’ve learned… Listen more than you speak. Give more than you take. Smile more than you frown. Manage thoughts and expectations (mostly your own). Recognize the value in each other and speak of it often to others. Acknowledge the probability that others are giving…

Mothers

There’s a saying that I think is largely true for many of us—that you’re only ever as happy as your least happy child. I believe there’s another corollary—that children are only ever as happy as their mother or, as the case may be, the one who plays the maternal role in their lives. They can…

Freedom

A teaching colleague is in the hospital with Covid pneumonia. He’s high risk. He has a lot of life yet to live. What’s so insidious about this particular bug? How quickly it spreads and the fact that someone with no symptoms can quickly spread it to 20,000 unsuspecting people. I’m all for preserving and exercising…

Hijacked

When you let your beliefs hijack your neutrality in what data you select and how you interpret them, you’ve fallen victim to confirmation bias. To correct for it, err on the side of disconfirmation. Seek evidence that challenges your beliefs—and raise the burden of proof for evidence that affirms them. ~Adam Grant Many of the…

Amends

Forgive someone. Make amends. Recognize that you share many of the same challenges from different spaces. Acknowledge the value of their experience and perspective, even if they lack the capacity to value yours.

Every New Thing

There will always be demand for another new story. For another new song. For a new chord progression. For a new perspective. For a new sunrise. For a new sunset. For a new day. For a new in between. There is room for every new thing. Even while there’s a repeat of every old thing….

Do not think that you will find truth or justice in a court of law where two sides are equally interested in telling only part of the story. That is a last and often ill-advised resort. Whenever possible, resolve issues sooner and in more constructive ways. Whenever you hear someone say, “The evidence says…,” or…