Fragmentary Life

From the Outside

One game a parent will never win is painting the other parent out in a negative light—to anyone. There’s nothing, nothing, nothing more detrimental to children than lack of mutual respect and a driving battle for control between parents, regardless of whether they’re together. False humility and the inability to value each other’s contributions hurts…

Consider

Carefully consider the questions you ask. You’ll be stuck with the answers.

Near and Far

If you don’t love the people near to you, you don’t love the people far from you.

Fundamental

Many of us build our lives, our identities, our platforms, on the bitter declaration, “Look what has been done to me!” That, I believe, divides us more than any of our social, political, economic or religious differences. On the other side are those who ask, “What good can I do for others?” The distinction is…

Recipes

Don’t criticize a recipe you’ve never actually followed.

Outcomes

Your actions and outcomes are affected not only by what you put in your mind but also by what you fail to put there.

Anniversary

My husband and I are staring down our 30th anniversary. Things we’ve learned… Listen more than you speak. Give more than you take. Smile more than you frown. Manage thoughts and expectations (mostly your own). Recognize the value in each other and speak of it often to others. Acknowledge the probability that others are giving…

Tiny

I was fascinated with the idea of tiny worlds when I was a kid. Then I realized I live in one.

Mothers

There’s a saying that I think is largely true for many of us—that you’re only ever as happy as your least happy child. I believe there’s another corollary—that children are only ever as happy as their mother or, as the case may be, the one who plays the maternal role in their lives. They can…

Strings

The things we read, watch, and listen to enslave us, permanently etched in our memories, continuing to affect who we are and who we become from behind the curtain for years to come, like invisible hands holding puppet strings.

Freedom

A teaching colleague is in the hospital with Covid pneumonia. He’s high risk. He has a lot of life yet to live. What’s so insidious about this particular bug? How quickly it spreads and the fact that someone with no symptoms can quickly spread it to 20,000 unsuspecting people. I’m all for preserving and exercising…

Boats

Locus of control is the extent to which we take responsibility for the circumstances of our own lives. Change is certain, but we are free to determine how we respond to it. We tend to look for excuses and sources of blame outside ourselves—family, friends, teachers, religious leaders, employers, employees, customers, pandemics, movements, the economy,…